apteryx wa: September 2007

i feel bad about this

so will calls me up the other day and asks if i want to go test out his new speargun in his parents' pool. it was too intriguing to refuse so we head over to the asian market to buy some live carp, where naturally it takes a while for will to explain he wants them to fill up his backpack with water and take the fish away alive. during the confusion i notice a tank of sturgeon and decide a bigger fish would make an easier target so we get one of those as well. then we head down to woodside, suit up and throw the sturgeon in the pool. i don't think it liked the chlorine because it didn't swim much. it was very unsporting actually. but it still took us five shots before we finally got it. then we unloaded all the carp at once and continued.

we were planning on cooking the fish but the cookbook said it would take a "culinary master" to make the sturgeon palatable and that carp wasn't much easier. so we ended up murdering the fish, which felt terrible. it was also a little self-loathing when an ex-board member of PETA rode up on his horse to drop it off at the livery next to the pool while will and i are despearing fish, hacking their heads off with a hatchet, reloading, gulping some beer and jumping in the pool for more.

and i bid you adieu

so my plan to make a wig out of my own hair didn't work out. i wanted to have a 80's newscaster type wig made so I could wear it to meetings at work and whenever i go to the bank. and maybe even to the doctor's office. definitely to the dentist's office. anything serious really. the mechanic.

but it didn't work out. it turns out it costs thousands of dollars to have a custom wig made. so now i have to go to the bank with my own damn hair. which is now short, by the way. and unnewscasterly.

apteryx wa

i feel bad about this

and i bid you adieu

one word: aviators

trekkers

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